it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We talked him into tasing himself.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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