I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Randomize
