i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
