Where is the hickey?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
