About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
