when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
