Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
