this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
