KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
