I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
MIDGETS
????
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
