you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish i was in the wii world.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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