I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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