New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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