brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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