Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
