so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
