hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
