Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
