i just made my gag reflex go away.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
