They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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