Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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