You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
