Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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