god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
