id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
