It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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