How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
