Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
