Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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