I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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