yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
