There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
