ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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