Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Me too!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
