they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
