Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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