just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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