why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
