so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
