you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
