dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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