I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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