the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How external is "for external use only"?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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