at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
