I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
