i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
