We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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