i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You can't just leave with hair like that
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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