I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
