you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize