i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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