I heard we made out
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
